Time to Tweak your Narrative !
Rivki D. Rosenwald Esq., CLC, SDS
It’s all about your narrative!
After all, most people do not really like an “I’m sorry scene”, that lasts more than 10 minutes; It can be so awkward and uncomfortable.
…And on these 10 days of repentance we are asked to do it over a 10-day period.
But how about if you think of it as an opportunity for a “do over”? A chance to make an experience or outcome turn out differently. Now, that we’d take any day of the week or even every day.
So what’s the difference?
With “I’m sorry”, we feel at fault; sort of called out for our behavior. With -a “do over”, it’s as if the first event never even happened.
Yet, if we learned nothing from the original event, might we just repeat it exactly the same way?
Doesn’t it help to remember we did the It whatever that IT was, and then rethink how we can do it differently.
Therein enters the 10 days of repentance!
It’s not a beat yourself up time. Not a time to say, I’m a walking disaster.
Rather it’s a time to say – now that I’ve got a chance for a sparkly clean slate, how am I going to learn from my past and show up differently this time around?!
Could you just picture this ….
Here it comes. The big pitch has been thrown. He winds up. He takes it back. He’s got his eye on the ball. He’s moving forward. He suddenly gets distracted. He loses focus, and ….he strikes out!
Hey wait – there’s a sudden miracle, the ump calls for—— a ‘do over’. The batter goes up again and he goes through the exact same motions, then he gets distracted again, and boom same exact mistake gets made, and he strike out -once again!
Did he focus on the opportunity to look at his previous hit and show up differently?!
What if he had a day to watch the replay, might he have done better? How about if he had 10 days?
There’s the narrative. We’ve got 10 whole days to figure it out. To look at the past, rethink it, and decide what we can do to show up better. Or shall we say -show up a focused batter!
So Why 10?
Well, everyone knows that 10 stands for the perfect score in a performance.
We can truly ‘gold medal’ this by putting all our energy into it.
Some may think of it as 10 days of running around trying to do good deeds to up your score. And Many would be happy to be the recipient of these efforts, I’m sure.
But, more importantly, it’s the ‘pre do-over’ time.
Because you have the whole year ahead, hopefully, to do all those good deeds. Therefore, at this time of repentance you want to create a perspective on you! Not the downtrodden, I messed up you- who lives in the space of- I’m sorry and wants to run from the shame. But, the I can be awesome you – who can look at the replay and do it better this time around!
So, get out there and bat a thousand in the replay review department. Because that’s a 10 in anyone’s book!
And may it be so in the book of life for you this Yom Kippur !!!
Rivki Rosenwald is a certified relationship counselor, and career and life coach. She can be contacted at 917-705-2004 or rivkrosenwald@gmail.com
