The newest option is to rent a gown rather than buying one. My friend who was about to make her first wedding said she heard about this. She asked why she should pay so much money and not even get to keep her gown? I responded -that’s the advantage!! You don’t want to start accumulating these gowns if you can help it. No kid of yours is going to pick the same color scheme for gowns for the next wedding. You just accumulate this rainbow of gowns that you never wear again. You run out of place to store it. You yourself then become a gown gemach/lender for others. After all, when are you going to wear a mint green or bright purple gown again. Only at your own affair, can you get away with this!
Now let’s talk about the actual bride’s gown. A generation or two ago, brides bought their own gowns. Then they cleaned and preserved it, hanging or boxing it. They emotionally projected, one day their child would love to wear it! Never did they realize, that when their child actually took one look at it, they’d go into gales of laughter or polite conversation. You wore that? I don’t think that’s my look. But, I’m sure it looked great on you! As similar as bride’s gowns are, somehow each person has a look that feels right to them.
Most bride’s gowns take up even more room than regular ones. They hoop, they bustle, they flare, a lot! Then there is also the long, flowing train …. You almost have to take a train to the next stop to be in the same room with the gown. Who has that kind of room in their house? And when you start keeping all the bridesmaids and mother of the bride gowns, you practically have to give away your regular wardrobe to find place for them. What a pleasure to give it back to someone.
Sometimes you fantasize you’ll cut the gown down and wear it as a dress after the event. Raise your hand if you are one of the few who actually carried out this plan! I know one young lady who did. And guess what, a few weeks later another friend of hers decided to use that same color for her bridesmaids. Go figure, the one efficient person still got stuck getting another replacement gown.
It doesn’t mean no one makes up gowns anymore. Sure they do. But there’s not just the price to pay, in money, there’s the price to pay in time. You’ve got to keep going back for fittings! Like, can’t they figure out you’re a size 2 or 4 or 6 or 8 and just copy that. Oh no this is made just for you! And there’s a spot on your body that’s a 2, a 4, a 6, an 8, or 10 or 12 etc….. – and they are going to make it work just for your every inch. But you have other things to do with your life…!
Now, I’m not saying you can’t always opt to buy something. But, even that takes a lot of luck and foot work. You don’t usually walk in to the first place and find something, or second or third or fourth ….
There’s always ordering online ……but that can keep you pretty busy too!
The greatest thing is when you hear someone wore a gown your exact color. And it was Gorgeous! And it was just your look. And she’s exactly your size! And someone even asked her and she’d be willing to lend it to you……if only it was hers! She got it from a Gemach- in Lakewood no less. Go figure that besides 9,000 available black hat learners, they have these “Oscar de la Renta- like gowns” in some random basement in Lakewood.
Look at the lucky men…. They just have to decide which tie to wear! Oh and trust me, they can be as busy with that as you are with your gowns. After all, matter expands to fill the space allotted! A woman is usually dealing with every aspect of a wedding, right up, to the last minute. A man is still deciding which tie to wear, right up to the last minute. And then he’s still not sure he made the right decision! “Are you sure you like this tie the best?”
Can we do it all any differently? No, I don’t think so? We’ve covered every possibility. Beg, borrow, buy, steal! I don’t think there’s anything left. And honestly, if you’re not busy picking out a gown you’d be busy anyway picking out the flower arrangement or table cloths. And that you don’t even get to schlep around with you all night.
So whatever option you chose…. Just try to look your best and feel your happiest. Because as important as it to you to have that gown ready to go, pressed, and poofed, the day of the affair, a day later you want it anywhere but in your space.
Enjoy good times. However, enwrapped you get there!
Rivki Rosenwald is a certified relationship counselor, and career and life coach. She can be contacted at 917-705-2004 or rivki@rosenwalds.com<mailto:rivki@rosenwalds.com
