Ethics of Our Father 1:14:
(יד) הוּא הָיָה אוֹמֵר, אִם אֵין אֲנִי לִי, מִי לִי. וּכְשֶׁאֲנִי לְעַצְמִי, מָה אֲנִי. וְאִם לֹא עַכְשָׁיו, אֵימָתַי:
(14) He [Rabbi Hillel] used to say: If I am not for me, who will be for me? And when I am for myself alone, what am I? And if not now, then when?
I have discussed this saying many times, and in all times, I have defined it as above.
Yet, when I was reading this week’s torah portion, another meaning came to me, that I want to share. Every person created by G-d on this Earth, was meant to contribute her own personal talents, knowledge and capabilities to the common good.
I suggest then, that the above might be translated as: If I am not me, then who will be me, i.e., if I do not contribute my exact capabilities, who is exactly like me, who can contribute to the world what I was born to do. There is a reason we each have our own fingerprints and footprints, we are meant to do different things with our hands and feet, than others, and no two are exactly alike. So if I do not give to the community in my unique manner, who will.
Therefore, uchsheani l’atzmi/when I am only focused inward, looking at myself and my own needs, “WHAT am I,” it does not say who am I, because if we take our unique existence, which was meant to be shared with the community and those around us, and we focus only on our selves and own needs, then we upend/overturn any reason why G-d created us in the first place, which is to find our unique contribution to the world at large.
And if not now, then when. At every stage in a person’s life, he can contribute his talents to his family, friends, school and community. When my friends and I were young, we would go to nursing homes and visit. During the week, we would bring our guitars and entertain them. It is important for children at every stage to feel that they have something to contribute, that they are valuable to the community, and part of a family and team.
Why was Korach, who sinned, deserving of having a torah portion named after him? The Toras Menachem, Lubavitcher Rebbe, states because his intentions were to be as holy as the high priest. He wanted to maximize what he thought his own potential was. He erred because rather than simulating the high priest and doing mitzvoth to emulate the high priest which would have brought him closer to G-d, like the high priest, instead his ego came into place and he wanted to usurp the position of high priest, which G-d determined belonged to Aaron.
Tomorrow is Gimmet Tamuz, the yahrtzeit of the Lubavitcher Rebbe, who focused his entire life on seeing the potential of every Jew. He sent emissaries to remote ends of the Earth who had and have the vision to pierce the outer armor of secular Jews and of looking into their souls to see their potential and help them actualize their potentials.
A classic story tells about the great Reb Zusha, who was found agitated and upset as he lay on deathbed. His students asked, “Rebbe, why are you so sad? After all the great things you have accomplished, your place in heaven is assured!” “I’m afraid!” Zusha replied, “Because when I get to heaven, God won’t ask me ‘Why weren’t you more like Moses?’ or ‘Why weren’t you more like King David?’ God will ask ‘Zusha, why weren’t you more like Zusha?’ And then what will I say!?”
If I am not me, uniquely the person that G-d placed on this Earth to contribute to it, then who will be me. No one else can be me, but me. If we want to emulate the High Priest, it is a noble cause, to increase good deeds and get closer to G-d, but never at the cost of the ego, which can poison good intentions, and throw a person off track.
It is a noble cause to take those who are off track, and if you love them, to very gently help them find the right track, it is why the command in the torah of reproving a friend is juxtaposed to the verse in the torah of loving your friend as you love yourself. If you love someone else, you guide them away from a misguided path and loving them reveal to them a path that may better help them actualize their potential.
Be you. The best you, you can be.
Shabbat shalom.
-Suri