Cry Me to the Moon
Rivki D. Rosenwald Esq., CLC, SDS
When you are a little person you cry a lot. In fact, a big part of the day is crying out loud and unabashedly.
When you are a little person -You run, not walk, to do all activities.
When you are a little person- You show emotions readily.
What happens to that you?
Where do you go?
You get bigger!
Then you often walk, or even drag, to do activities.
You start to hide a lot of your emotions.
And even if you let yourself cry, it’s often on the inside or in private.
Which you is the better version?
Is it so great to get to a state where you move through life much slower, and are more inhibited?
Where you can’t share what’s going on inside of you, so you blame everything outside.
What’s so great about being an adult?!
Sure, you may seem easier to have around at times. You’re less noisy, more grounded, and somewhat less emotionally volatile!
But your also so much less transparent.
People have to figure out when you are upset.
People have to eke out whether you’re feeling enthusiastic.
And people are often confused about what you are feeling. In fact, you’re even confused yourself!
So, let’s not summarily dismiss the strengths of being under three.
Sure, we tend to think older than three is better. You know, you’re toilet trained, or eating more on your own.
And you can certainly express yourself more clearly. But is it truly more honestly?
I like clarity. When a baby is upset they cry. Not like us adults who bury, or hide it.
When a baby is excited they run. Not like us, who find little to get so excited about.
And when they feel something, they show it.
They are not like many adults who are out of touch with their feelings!
So, as the ethics of our Fathers teaches: “who is wise the one learns from every person”.
So, stop thinking about how difficult babies can be and learn from how candid they can be.
People definitely have an easier time knowing that a baby is going through something because of this simple transparency, and thus others are better able to work to meet their needs.
Therefore, if you want some needs met, don’t keep your partners and friends guessing.
Of course, you don’t have to sob so the whole block hears you. However, you can try to tap into that once available, now repressed, three-year-old strength and try to access, for your benefit and those around you, a little more of your original gift for emotional honesty!
So rather, than living in a reactive mode to an underlying feeling, just say, I feel sad, or frustrated or misunderstood.
And then hopefully the people around you can run enthusiastically to respond cause they see your cry.
Rivki Rosenwald is a certified relationship counselor, and career and life coach. She can be contacted at 917-705-2004 or rivki@rosenwalds.com