Chochmas Nashim: Pinchas:…And I Can Do It Myself
By: Suri Davis
Once more about our quarantine.
At the end of last week’s Torah portion, we see the Midianites’ successful attempt to seduce the Jews into adulterous and idolatrous behavior so that G-d’s anger would fall upon them. A plague breaks out, and Pinchas understanding the source of the plague being adultery and idolatry, he spears the two people who are influencers for evil, and the plague subsided.
This week’s Torah portion is named after Pinchas, the hero, for the Torah states he was rewarded B’kano et Kinati/for avenging My [G-d’s] honor.” Numbers 25:11. Why does G-d need any human being to do anything for Him. Man sins, G-d punishes those who sin, and done. Why do we need Pinchas to work on G-d’s behalf? It reminds me of the story of Chanukkah, where Judah Macabbee cries out Mi LaHashem Elai/Whoever is for G-d come with me. Why cant G-d just remove the enemy from the holy temple?
We complain about our situation with water in last week’s torah portion, and G-d sends a plague. We smash our relationship with G-d by involving ourselves in idol worship in this week’s torah portion, G-d sends the plague. What do we struggle with now that yesterday commenced the “three weeks” of mourning between 17th of Tamuz, which commemorates the encircling of Jerusalem by its enemy, and the 9th of Av, which commemorates the destruction of our holy temple in Jerusalem. It is a struggle of independence and separation anxiety between G-d and His nation.
We seem to be constantly in a state of adolescence, struggling to rebel against the constraints placed upon us by our parent, G-d, and wanting His safety and security and to become closer to Him. Picture a child going to his first day of nursery. Often the child merely reflects the ambivalence he feels by the parent. Does she want me to go, does she not want me to go. Mom is familiar and safe, there are strangers here, but my mom says I should go to the strangers, that it’s ok, and its for my own good to go to these strangers and learn how to acclimate to them, and to grow and develop and be part of them. It is a scene replayed for elementary school, high school, college and marriage.
We want attentive parents, but the new new is helicoptering parents who hover constantly to catch the child, never permitting the child to fall, feel discomfort, but feel his own power in being able to brush himself off and feel his own ability to right himself and move on. A child never wants to feel the pain of falling, and maybe when he gets up he feels resentment at the parent for not catching him, for letting him fall, for forcing him to get up and brush himself off, and he’ll scream, “mama where are you?” And mama is forced to feel the brunt of that disappointment, where were you when I needed you, why did you let me fall, I don’t want to build the resilience muscle, I don’t need grit…it’s hard to know as a parent where to draw the line between quiet support, and revealing to the child his own inner wherewithal, strength and capabilities.
G-d seemingly hid himself from Jews and permitted us to be enslaved for over 200 years. Then He helicoptered over us in the desert, providing us with all our personal needs. But we still had to journey for forty years, we still had to deal with threat of war and the elements, and from day to day, except Shabbos, we had to rely on G-d for our sustenance, rather than having a refrigerator full of food, and a faucet with running water.
We start this week’s parshah with G-d’s recognizing and acknowledging Pinchas’ actions to defend G-d’s honor on Earth. We end the parshah with lessons on sacrifice, “if you bring it, I will come.” You bring all the physical elements of the sacrifice to the temple, and I will bring the fire, says G-d, the perfect partnership. We struggle with our relationship with G-d: hishtadlut, our own efforts, v. yad Hashem, G-d’s intervention, how much is enough or too much.
We know why we need G-d. Why did G-d create us. Clearly, He doesn’t need us, but we each are to be His ambassador on earth to be G-dlike and to better the world, to repair it and return it to the state of perfection in which was created by G-d. Where we meet is in the holy temple, which we humans physically build, and which G-d imbues with his shchinah/divine providence. We focus during these three weeks on the destruction of the first two temples. We yearn for the rebuilding of the third temple in the days of Messiah, but its not about the building, it’s about the loss of our physical manifestation, the home that G-d and we build as a partnership of father and child, to coexist in a home where the child brings his physical presence, and where our Father raises us up in His arms and brings us near. We yearn for that closer connection, as we sin against our Father which separates us.
During our pandemic, our children are home from school. We elevate that experience with our love and gratitude that they are with us…as many of us also mourn the loss of the ability to sit with our own parents and hug them they way we used to, the pandemic, like the red heifer, bringing us closer to those in our home, while building an obstacle to our parents who live apart in their home.
Ironically, the haftorah speaks of Elijah the prophet, who follows G-d’s commandment to destroy the idol worshippers, and whose life is then put in danger which causes him to hide. Elijah the prophet will herald the coming of the Messiah, but we are idol worshippers, and have forced him into hiding, fearful of his life. During these three weeks, as we have done for the last three months, we have to figure out to whom we worship, and make this world a safer environment for the prophet Elijah to return and herald the coming of Moshiach speedily in our time.
Shabbat shalom.
Suri