1. Set a goal

Begin with setting a real goal. Know what you want and be specific.

If it is a better physical self that you’re after, then say, “This year I will work on being healthier and lose 10 pounds.” If it is better relationships you are seeking, then recognize that you want to work on connecting with others.

The starting point is understanding exactly what you’re aiming for.

2. Make a plan

Once you’ve set a goal it’s easy to get lost without a real plan. 

How will find your healthier self? Is it your diet that will change? Will you eliminate sugared drinks and snacks from your kitchen? If you are going to join a gym it’s not enough to sign up and give your credit card info. Now take a look at classes and decide which ones will be on your weekly schedule. Make a realistic commitment.

If this is the year you’d like to meet that special person, you need to make a plan. What classes can you join, or which volunteer functions can you be a part of so that you can meet others? Who can you enlist to keep you in mind and be your eyes and ears wherever they go?

A goal of creating a stronger marriage is wonderful but how will you make that happen? What will you do strengthen your bond with your spouse? How will you lower the temperature if you find yourself losing it? Is it possible to find better ways to react to frustrations and disappointments?

Set a doable goal. Small steps, even baby steps, are better than huge leaps that can be daunting.

3. Surround yourself with positive people

Everyone needs friends and family who can cheer you on. If there are people in your life who belittle your journey, keep a distance and don’t share your hopes and aspirations. There are nay-sayers who strike down the dreams of others, make sarcastic comments and drain our confidence.

Surround yourself with people who believe in you and wish you well. An encouraging word or text message go a long way.

4. Make it enjoyable

It’s easy to take away pleasures and say “No more dessert” or “I’m getting off social media and Netflix.” We’ll find more success if we add something positive to fill the void. What are you going to do now that you’ve stopped binge-watching? How will you replace the tub of Haagen Dazs that used to be your comfort food whenever you felt upset?

If hitting the gym is your goal, choose the workouts that you enjoy. Or consider taking long walks or jogs outdoors with a walking partner to make this happen.

Whatever you decide, be sure it involves a person, activity, or object from which you derive pleasure.

5. Expect setbacks and keep going

Just because a week went by and you fell short of your goal or found yourself back to the ‘same old same old’ does not mean you should give up. Everyone falls. Stand up, wipe off the dust, and begin again. Don’t give in to despair and be hard on yourself. Ignore that inner voice that is bringing you down.

The path to success is only through failure. Be hopeful not hopeless. Discover your resilience muscle. Be determined to keep moving forward.

You are your own greatest cheerleader. Harness the power that lies within. Your best version of yourself is waiting to be discovered.