Chochmas Nashim: Ayshet Chayil: A Woman of Valor
By: Suri Davis
What have the last few parshiot/Torah portions been about and where are we now? Abraham had to leave his land and family, leave his comfort zone and Rashi states Lech Licha, go onto yourself, go to your destiny, be uncomfortable in a new land and grow, be true to yourself and your destiny. It is a paradigm for all generations that we leave our comfort zone to learn and to grow, gather new experiences, build internal muscle to build wherewithal for life that can be more difficult as you live it.
But if you stay true to yourself, to who you really are, to what your essence is, Tzelem Elokim, G-d’s image, then as you walk your journey you can see G-d appearing to you. He is always there, only sometimes it is difficult to see Him. For He has a plan for you, but you may not like or appreciate that plan.
If you can accept all that G-d gives, both good and bad, then you can have a life like the life of Sarah, who dedicated herself to bringing monotheism, HKBH, to all she met. I am an estate attorney, and read the obituaries daily. There are large obits and small obits. What will be said of us when we leave this world, both in this world and when we give the final tally in the world to come. What will we want our legacy to be.
I gave a class this week on Kavod Hamet, honor of the dead. It was to a group of people who were contemplating cremation. I came across an amazing article by Rabbi Yosachar Frand and to broadly extrapolate from the article and add a point of view: Rabbi Frand compares Tashmish Kedushah/articles used which have G-d’s name in it to the Jews who learn Torah and therefore have the words of Torah inscribed in us. Accordingly, when our souls depart our body, our physical bodies retain the holiness of words inscribed in us, and we are to be accorded the proper respect of burial. We are very careful to respect a body after death, even though it’s essential component, the soul G-d blew into the man, has already departed. To burn a body, is l’havdil what the Nazis did when they burned sifrei torahs/Torahs during the Holocaust, desecrating them.
How apropos to parshat Chayei Sarah, this week’s torah portion. We who are born religious/frum from birth, are born pure, become impure and work hard to return to and remain pure. But Sarah our foremother, was born into a family of idol worshippers, she was born into impurity. But she worked hard not only in her relationship with G-d, but to show the beauty of monotheism to all she met. She was the mother of all Jews.
In Tanya Yomi these last few days, the Alta Rebbe discusses how each holy person is a vessel on Earth, a vessel for receiving G-ds love, Torah and bounty, both physical and spiritual bounty. To be such a receptacle, one has to nullify his/her own desires and accept that we are but a piece in G-ds plan for the world while we occupy this world.
So what kind of kli/utensil will we be? We have a choice to be an impure vessel, or a pure vessel. We make that choice when we move to do a mitvah, or ch’v, a sin.
So at the end of Sarah’s life, when her legacy on Earth was being tallied, Avraham had a lot of material for Sarah’s eulogy. In fact, some Rabbis feel that the Ayshet Chayil/Woman of Valor was first recited by Abraham at Sarah’s funeral.
Each person has to do a cheshbon hanefesh/internal audit of his her goals in life and determine how best to see G-d’s hand in everyday life. To be a utensil and open to blessings by virtue of a desire to be close to HKBH/G-d and do His commandments, in hopes that when it is our time to leave this Earth, we merit a eulogy which includes the divrei Torah with which a person busied herself to respect the kli HKBH gave us to house His neshamah, and be respected at death the kli which remains after the neshama departs.
Have a good Shabbos and chodesh.
-Suri.