CHOCHMAS NASHIM: EQUALITY: THE 15TH OF AV
By: Suri Davis
In last week’s lesson we discussed the juxtaposition of Moshe’s sermon to the Jews as they were about to enter Israel without his leadership, with the commemoration of the destruction of both holy temples in Jerusalem last weekend on the 9th and 10th of Av.
This week there are other interesting juxtapositions. Right after the commemoration of the destruction, this week’s torah portion, Vaetchanan/and I prayed, Moshe reaches out and says G-d you showed me/Moshe your servant Your good deeds and Your might.
It takes both might, the confidence of one’s physical strength, together with good deeds to sustain man and a nation. We saw your might in the desert, and we commemorate the destruction of the temple wherein You/G-d refrained from Your using Your might to protect and shield the Jews from destruction. The ten commandments are restated in this parshah, a reminder that we have manual to guide us in our lives.
This Friday is Tu B’av/the 15th day of the Jewish month of Av, a day when single men and women would go outside to find their matches. The women would all wear simple white outfits so they could be equal in the eyes of the men, so each one would have equal opportunities to find a man.
This 15th day also commemorates the date in 148CE, when the dead of Betar were buried. Going back to my Power Bentsching book, there is a paragraph that was added to bentsching, which we call the paragraph of hatov/umaytiv, the good/and those who do good. In daf yomi years ago, Kesuvos 9: Yechezkel ben Yehudah Landau or the Tzelach or the Nodah Beyehudah ask why there is a special brachah in bentsching by the name of Hatov Umaytiv, which commemorates the miracle with the Harugei Betar. After the Bar Kochba rebellion was quashed, and the surviving Jews weren’t able to bury their dead . When the Jews returned about 150-200 years later, the saw that the bodies had not decomposed. It was a miracle.
Generally, we think of the miracles of Chanukkah as the last open miracles, but the Betar incident happened later. Why commemorate this miracle in bentsching for eternity. The answer is that at the time the Jews returned to the land there were dejected and felt rejected by HKBH/God. They thought that just as the second temple was rebuilt a mere 70 years after the first was destroyed, that the third would be built speedily. After 150 years of exile, they lost all hope that the temple would be speedily rebuilt and they felt abandoned by God.
When they returned to Israel and saw the bodies had not decomposed, they realized this open miracle, they understood that it was Gods way of saying “imo anochi b’tzarah/I am still here and with you.”
Hatov- that the bodies did not decompose
V’hamaytiv-that God allowed the Jews to bury the dead.
Interestingly, just as the unmarried women wore simple white clothes for equality, it is also on this daf that we see the source of simple burial shrouds/tachrichim, so that there would not be an additional expense for survivors to bury their dead. It was instituted by Rabban Gamliel who was concerned that when a person died, his survivors avoided burying the dead because it was so expensive. So Rabbi Gamliel instituted the custom of simple inexpensive shrouds for the dead.
The commemoration of the destruction, the turning to G-d in acknowledging that He has the power to protect us, and the power to permit others to destroy us. He reminds us of the great gift of Torah to Jews and mankind which is our daily guide. Kindness in rebuilding the Jewish people, core being marriage and rebuilding the family unit, and the kindness in ensuring both poor and wealthy have equal opportunity to pursue their happiness.
Finally, when the Jews return to Israel after the destruction of the temple, G-d shows them a sign, that He is still with them, and the kindness of Rabban Gamliel to institute the custom of simple white burial garments, to ease the burden on a family who is burying their deceased.
When G-d sees this build up, the repentance, the kindness and sensitivity, we are prepared to receive from G-d comfort for the destruction He permitted, and G-d looks down on His people, and offers words of comfort to ease their pain at the loss of the holy temple, loss of the land which was in foreign control for thousands of years, and the yet unfulfilled prophecy of a complete and final redemption.
May HKBH comfort each one of us from our personal difficulties, and comfort us in our communal exile, speedily in our day.
Shabbat shalom.
-Suri