Momma Mia!!!
Rivki D. Rosenwald Esq., CLC, SDS
When exactly is it that you really know that you have become a full-fledged mom?!
There happens to be these epiphany moments, that occur, again and again.
The first time probably is when they hand you that tiny, new born, bundle of joy-that helpless little baby. And then, when what happens is -that no matter how long you wait, nobody comes to take it back!
Ever!
That kind of is the beginning of when you have your first real flash.
Coincidentally, it’s also when you realize how integral the dad piece is! Because you become immediately aware that he is a valuable partner in all this. And if you’ve chosen wisely, he gets that too!
However, let me not digress.
Then what follows that is – all those nights that you don’t get to be what you use to be – “a sleeper”. And you start to really catch on that this is because you are now a mom.
Bu it doesn’t end there….
Because, eventually, as time marches on, “they” look for something to call you. And you, proudly believing that you have earned the title and that you’ll enjoy being called it, sweetly say – call me -mama!!!
Then, after that, every day, one hundred times a day, even if it could slip your mind, they don’t let it! You hear the sweet, melodic sound of your title wafting toward you- continuously …. Mommy mommy mommy!
It’s totally getting etched into your brain.
Interestingly though, sometimes still, you can go out with friends or other couples and have a really fun time. Even, perhaps start to think you are a person again. One that actually has her own identity.
So, when is it that you find out you’re not that person you use to be- at all?
I think it happens around the bar and bat mitzvah years. It will happen organically. You’ll be somewhere, just thinking you are being you. And suddenly someone will run up to you. And tell you to stop being you.
To stop acting, talking, or behaving some way you think is just fine, or even not so fine, but what you are in the mood to do. They’ll look you straight in the eyes and add those lethal words, that clearly identify your role forever, “you’re embarrassing me”
And in that moment, you realize you do not exist any longer as an independent entity. You are forever officially someone’s job to monitor. You are now aware that you are under surveillance, microscopically observed, almost 24/7.
You are being watched to make sure that you are living up to your role as a bonafide version of a mom.
It is right there and then, in that time and space, that you realize, in no uncertain terms, that you have truly and completely become- a mother!
So, what does all this mean moving forward.
For kids: realize there is a real person in there behind the title. Who was once a kid like you, with independent thoughts, dreams, and feelings. Who gladly became a mom for you. And with that job, did take on the responsibility to be a role model. Yet, at sometimes wants to be free just like you.
For moms: realize it was inevitable you’d get deeper and deeper into this, the minute that kid entered the world. The writing was on the wall- you were destined to be a full-fledged mom. But no one says you don’t need a vacation. Just make sure that if on that vacation you want to wiggle out of mom mode for a bit -that there’s not a kid of yours or a friend of theirs, for miles around! Cause they’ll whip you back into mom shape so fast you won’t know who else you still had the potential to be!
Moms -I’m just saying, I understand- it’s not always as easy as we make it look (wink, wink) being a mom.
And kids- I get it. It’s not always easy having a mom.
But so far, it’s the best we’ve come up with. So give moms a break!!!
One day you may be one too!
Rivki Rosenwald is a certified relationship counselor, and career and life coach. She can be contacted at 917-705-2004 or rivki@rosenwalds.com
