Perfect is the Enemy of Good
Rivki D. Rosenwald Esq., LMFT, CLC, SDS
“Do you have a good book for me to read”?
Famous question?!
And kind of interesting!
What makes them know what you think is good?
Is there some secret society or code that explains the meaning of this question?!
Really – How do people know what they are asking each other?
People hardly ever agree on anything completely. With most topics, there needs to be clarification, operational definitions, discourse or heated confrontation for any resolution. But here this simple question seems to say it all.
What makes the book good?
Really, someone merely says “I just finished such a good book” …. and Everyone is like – “can I have it next”, or “can I read it after you”, etc. They are immediately on board. No third-degree questioning, no lie detector test, just desire and desperation!
Strange – You have no idea if they like gore and drama or romance and humor. You’re not sure if they like levity as opposed to substance or dragging narratives verses peppy dialogues. All you know is that they liked a book and that’s enough for you to be dying to get your hands on it!
Why?
Why do you trust them?
Why are you so ready to lunge for their literary work?
What are their credentials.
Why are they so spot on, in your book, that their book will interest you?!
Why are you groping to get to the front of their line?
Here’s the secret….
You don’t really trust them!
But, what’s the alternative?
The other choice is to read every book yourself- without even a sense of whether you might like it.
You do not have endless time- and there does seem to be endless books written!
Everyone wants a book that’s been vetted.
And this way you get a free reviewer.
With the posing of one simple question, you’ve narrowed the whole playing field down significantly.
After all, if you start reading the book and it stinks, you can just put it down. And if it’s another person’s copy, you haven’t even wasted a dime!
Yet, it can still pose a problem. You wind up with time on your hands and no book to read! One minute you were psyched for a good read and feeling secure against potential boredom. And then the next, you are twiddling your thumbs or worse, face to face with Harry Potter for the third time.
Now let’s say, you hit the jackpot and the book does keep you interested. That is really great. And, on top of that, if the person wants the book back, that’s a win–win. You’ve enjoyed the book and you’ve avoided the added clutter more books create.
If they don’t give you the book you may need to purchase it and that means more books -ugh! There just aren’t enough bookcases in existence to hold all the books that wind up in people’s homes.
That’s why I love when someone takes a book off my hands. Kind of tempts me to recommend one I didn’t even like. I said tempts – I don’t actually do it!
The truth is, that there are so many books flying around these days that if I don’t write a review in front after I read it or at least my name, so I know I actually read it, I’d probably be sold on it again.
That is of course, till I think I have a good book in hand for the weekend and suddenly realize I already read it.
Ultimately, the best experience is when a book is new to you, and someone says it’s good, and it actually is!
Sooo -does anyone have a good book for me?!!!
And please check the front to make sure you didn’t get it from me!
Rivki Rosenwald is a Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist working with both couples and individuals.
She is a Certified Relationship Counselor. She is a Co-Founder & Creator of an effective Parent Management of Adolescent Years Program. She can be contacted at 917-705-2004 or rivkirosenwald@gmail.com
