Thanks Giving – Giving Thanks
Rivki D. Rosenwald Esq., CLC, SDSSome people celebrate, some don’t!
Not talking about the holiday! Just the idea behind it.
Bottom line, it’s always good to be appreciative.
And not just to say thank you.
Which, of course, is a great start.
But rather, to see it in layers. Wrap your head around it in detail. And Verbalize it in sentences.
Okay. What am I rambling about?
Let’s take, for a simple example, someone making you an omelet for breakfast. Alright – not so simple for everyone. I’m sure some of you are saying why didn’t she start with toast?!
So back to the omelet. You could say – “thanks for the omelet”. You could even say – “thanks for the delicious omelet.”
But can you say?
“Thanks for the time you spent cutting up the onions.
Sautéing them just right.
Then adding those delicious peppers. Which added such a sweet extra flavor.
And then throwing in that cheese that made it so melty and fun to eat and somehow balanced everything else out just right. “
Can you see those layers?
Can you see that detail?
Can you then share that you saw it?
Guess what -All this happens to reinforce for you that you actually registered it and saw it. And then, reinforces for the other person, that you recognized all they put in to it, as well.
This is what a “thank you” is all about. Not just a rote comment. But the realization behind it.
Let’s reference it to texting!
When someone writes – thank you. The other person can sit there thinking. What exactly did that – “thank you” convey? Did she/he mean to say that sarcastically, enthusiastically, sincerely, or perfunctorily?!
They get completely caught up in what this was meant to convey and don’t get that it was perhaps said to make them feel good.
Therefore, what becomes important here is to make sure our message gets across right!
So too, when verbalizing our thanks- If you don’t have time to layer and be verbose, then that “thank you” needs to ooze with sensitivity and sincerity.
Let me clarify – We’ve been trained to say thank you! That’s good! We want to be that kind of a person.
What we don’t want to do is say it without the mouth mind connection.
We don’t want it to become automatic. Just so that we’re good to go.
Kind of like “hi how are you”- sure it’s a nice thing to say. But, Are we really asking -“how are you” to the other person. Do we even stop walking long enough to hear the answer?
Did we start to do a rote thing with “thank you”? Do we make the connection for it to go deep enough into us?
It’s really good for us to recognize when saying “thank you” that it’s not just extended for the other person. We are communicating with ourselves. Because, we are noticing something good happened for us. We are truly absorbing that something positive occurred for us. Then on top of that we are filling someone else up, letting them feel good that they did good. And in return, as an added bonus, they feel good about us because we noticed it.
Can all this good be anything but good?
So, share thank you’s today and every day. And take time whenever possible to layer it. It’s hardly something you give away. It actually is something that fills you up. And is even so powerful that it spills over and fills up another person, as well.
Let me close with a layer of my own- Thank you so much – For listening and taking the time to read my thoughts and insights. And for making me feel what I have to share is worthwhile.
