Did you ever really understand the saying, “One man’s meat is another man’s poison”? Well, this week I think it really came to light in stereo. Actually maybe even in surround sound. It seemed one man’s ‘celebrated winning candidate’ was another man’s ‘nightmare on steroids’.
The rejoicing and revolts were of mutual intensity.
How should we behave at a time like this, when nothing is actually certain about change and transition?
Perhaps it would be wise to embrace optimism:
Be:
Open
Patient
Trusting
Involved
Magnanimous
Interested
Steady
Menche-like
The Rabbi told a story this week about a guy who wound up in jail serving time. And it was for something that his friend in fact had done. For many years he wouldn’t talk to this friend. Who would? Like what are you going to say – “no problem, I was looking for a place to sleep anyway”.
When he got out, he went to look for a job in an investment banking firm and he got accepted. And then, the day before he was supposed to start working, they rejected him. He was quite upset, as you could imagine. They had just found out about his felony.
A few days later he called his old friend to thank him for putting that felony on his record!! Because, the job he lost was located in the World Trade Center, and it blew up the day he was supposed to start. His felony saved his life!
My point? We just don’t know!
And even when we think we know, things can be different.
For instance, statistics say the divorce rate is over 50%. So that means people who thought they knew, then realized maybe they just didn’t know.
Now – The message here could be that marriage is challenging……
But that’s not where we are going with this. Our message is:
You just can’t really know for certain till you are in it. So …it’s time to calm down and wait for the marriage to start.
In the meantime, we are clearly lucky the debates are finally behind us! How could we possibly tell our kids to behave like adults when that was going on. Short of throwing a sibling out the window, it kind of demonstrated any behavior goes!
The bickering and name calling, lies and distortions, face making and sarcasm, all of it, was certainly not befitting a grown up! Wait- it wasn’t even befitting a child!
So let’s not emulate the hostile behavior. Let’s try uniting to work toward a good marriage, one of communication, openness, respect of the parties involved, faith in your partner’s ability to come through for you.
Maybe the meat isn’t really poison- you just haven’t met the right cook yet?!!!
And maybe we can be optimistic that a new cook will hit on the right recipe!
Rivki Rosenwald is a certified relationship counselor, and career and life coach. She can be contacted at 917-705-2004 or rivki@rosenwalds.com