There are certain repetitive truths we cannot get away from!
Driving with kids. What did that just do to you! Did you break out in a sweat, did your temples start pounding! Did you have a gut level reaction? How about, a thought or memory of the kvetching, fighting, boredom. Did you think of that age-old question, recited as you are pulling out of the driveway, “are we there yet?” Like seriously, do they not recognize your own garage?!
What about visits to the Doctor with our kids. What does that thought do to you? There are 2 truly rotten experiences that come up for most 1. Being the new parent and feeling the guilt of them trusting you while simultaneously holding them down for a shot. Or 2. when you move on to parent of an older kid who doesn’t trust you, because they are getting a shot and you are actually letting them!!
How about parent teachers’ night?! There are a few commons experiences there, as well. 1. For the parents who knows they’ve got a born achiever, well, they have the joy of having it reiterated meeting after meeting. Bless you if you’re one of those. 2. The parent of a child with strengths and weaknesses. They go through a night of “The thrill of victory and agony of defeat”. And 3. Then there is the unique and dreaded experience of the parent of the kid who, shall we say, has places they shine so much more so than in school. These parents enter the hallowed halls of the institution with trepidation and the same emotion as their kids; that is to say, there are places they’d rather be so much more so than in the school!
Should we talk about asking a kid to clean their room?! Talk about threatening an already potentially shaky relationship. This is simply not a skill that comes on the packaging when kids are born. Making a mess. Check! Cleaning a mess! Well that’s like batteries- not included! Of course, preschools have the right idea- sing a song as you pick up the mess and the kids are prancing the room, cleaning, and washing, and shelving, with glee. (Clean up clean up everybody everywhere, clean up clean up everybody do your share!) But as they say with knife or fire demos, don’t try this at home!!!! Oh, sure it works for a little while when they’re around two or three years old, but, soon after that they seem to become somewhat tone deaf!
Are some of these truths resonating with you?! If not, I’m just going to assume you are single or have a child under the age of 6 months, or possibly are living in denial! Ok, granted, it could be that you gave birth to an angel or have uniquely honed parenting skills. Though, I wouldn’t go shouting that from a roof top. Too many struggling people would want to shoot you!
The bottom line is most people have some challenges raising their kids. But the reality is the experience can actually raise you!
After all we sometimes struggle through these truths. But, how we are as we navigate them is the most important truth to find!
Rivki Rosenwald is a certified relationship counselor, and career and life coach. She can be contacted at 917-705-2004 or rivki@rosenwalds.com<mailto:rivki@rosenwalds.com